Friday, February 18, 2011

Nobody Asked Me, But....

1) It's possible that the unrest in Egypt, Bahrain, and the Middle East may actually bring democracy to the nation in most dire need of it: America.
 
The FBI Says We Will Be Attacked By Muslims With Nukes or WMDs with 100% certainty!,...even if those Muslims actually turn out to be white anti-abortionists and they use conventional weapons.
 What would we do without mainstream conservative media?
 
3) Hey, you know what? Texas may actually end up being a blue state after all! Yea, it will take time. A whole lot of time....
 
4) Could the Tea Party end up like Al Capone? In jail for tax evasion, because it can't be convicted of racketeering?
 
5) I, for one, welcome the mandatory nanny-state public breast feeding stations and have much interest in them! Perhaps there is a website or newsletter one might subscribe to?
 
6) As a victim of both sexual and violent abuse as a child, I hope Scott Brown was not exploiting (or even creating) his experiences for political gain. The story of abused children in this country is one of the most disgusting secrets of American society, and needs to be more fully discussed and brought out into the light of day. My own story I've mentioned before, and while I've dealt with it as an adult, I'm still not prepared for the stigma involved in fully disclosing what happened in such a public forum. Those are two separate stories, by the way, the sexual abuse and the beatings. One was by a stranger, the other by my parents. I'll leave you to figure which was which.
 
7)       MEMO
TO:         Ben Bernanke
 
FROM:    Actor212
 
I have your solution for you: give it all to me.
8) Tea Partier in Mississippi River valley, Spring 2011: "I tell you, there is NO SUCH THING AS GLOBAL WARglugblurglebubble..."
 
    Tea Partier in Oklahoma, February 2011: "He's right, there is no such thing as globalwarmingwhyaremyshoelacesovermyheadnow?"
 
9) It's now official: With this article, sexting is passé.
 
10) By the way...you wondered why I posted Bucky the Squirrel up top of this week's column? Here's why!