Thursday, May 27, 2010

Poor Little Rich Girl

You have to pity Sarah Palin.
 
OK, not, but the deep horizon of comedy that she provides has not even hoved into view yet, but look just this week so far:
 
1) The BP oil gusher is still a-gushing, despite what are likely her best efforts to pray them away. Among these prayers, no doubt, is a quick note to God to make people forget "Drill, baby, drill!".
 
2) She blows into South Carolina, eager to endorse a woman ethnic candidate, stamping her with the tramp stamp, I mean, endorsement of the Teabaggers, only to have that explode in her face as allegations of a torrid extramarital affair are slowly leaked to the press, truly putting her "family values" totem in the trash bin.
 
3) A Teabagger went down in Idaho...to a Latino named Labrador! Idaho! White potatoes! This happened just days after Palin made a frantic appearance to shore up his poll numbers. Ironically, she stands a chance for a twin killing as the Democratic opponent in the general election, walter Minnick, is the only Democrat formally endorsed by the Teabaggers. It couldn't have helped Vaughan Ward that he thought Puerto Rico was a sovereign state.
 
4) Next finds Sarah Palin lookin' out her front door...you know, the one she sees Russia from, all the time?... and finding journalist Joe McGinniss has moved next door. McGinniss has announced his intention to write an unauthorized biography of Palin and her family. Her reaction? Smear McGinniss as a pedophile peeping Tom, and build a spite fence.
 
5) And finally, after Teabagger Rand Paul's ill-advised and flubbed appearance on Rachel Maddow's television program, Palin puts on her "kway kay ladee" hat again, and shrilly smears Maddow for having a "prejudice", as if taking the Devil's Advocate position on any issue is ever going to be objective. Rand Paul himself acknowledges indirectly the drubbing he's taken in the media for his outrageous comments. Sarah Palin might take a page out of his book, lest she herself be smeared with the tar of bigotry and racism, drops of which have already clung to her.
 
One imagines the family barbecue this weekend: moose steaks on the grill, kids joking around on the lawn, Joe McGinniss perched high in his new tree house...and Sarah Palin sitting on the porch, rocking back and forth, muttering to herself.